The Match That Lit The Fire
by Katie-ng-fan
Summary: I always thought that Nick and Jess' break-up was really well done but far too sudden. This story is intended as a little background as to how the "power couple" came to that sad decision. "You're talking to your boyfriend right?" Jess looked at her - not at all bothered by her nosiness, just surprised by her willingness to ask. "I can tell, you do that weird smile."
1. Chapter 1 Smiles and Tears

**The Match That Lit The Fire**

**A/N: Hey! So this is my first fanfic, and I've got to say, this isn't really my thing but it's getting hard to pass the time between episodes so I thought I'd tackle something that bothered me a little; the break-up. Not the very idea of it but how very sudden it was. One episode ended with "power couple" and the cutest little scene, then in the next, Nick and Jess were over just like that, so I've written a bit of background as to how they came to the conclusion that they should break up in each of their minds. **

**In case you forgot, Rose is the blond teacher that Jess works with. I don't know her last name so I made it Gardner. The first part of this seems a little random but it's all important, I promise! **

**I'm going to write this in the past tense, third person narrative, which I actually find to be the most difficult but I think it's most fitting, so if you notice any mistakes, of course, mention them and I'll fix it. **

**Also, I know I repeat people's names a lot but there were just a lot of ambiguous pronouns otherwise and I wanted to be clear. **

_Jess' POV, Six weeks before the break-up._

"That's what she said!" Jess tried her best to glare at the group of boys from whom the remark came in reply to her statement; "It's a lot harder since it's just us." referring to the lack of chaperons, but couldn't help but smirk as she considered that the 'men' she lived with would have made the same comment, and were she not role-modeling for a group of impressionable teens, she probably would have too. Somehow, amidst everything going on with the reconstruction at Coolidge Middle School, she had ended up with a class of tenth graders from Coolidge High across town. It was another world from teaching the sixth grade but she was actually quite enjoying it. They were all so... human. It's much easier to relate to a fifteen year old than it is to an eleven year old.

There was an excited energy on their faces and in their voices as they all stood at the front of the class eager to go. Due to their poor budget and the lack of effort from the rest of the administration, these kids rarely got to go on school trips and were beyond excited, even though they were only going to the Griffith observatory. It had nothing to do with the poetry she was teaching in her English class but when somebody suggested a trip, she jumped at the opportunity to take them.

"So everyone needs a partner but after the mix ups and arguments last year, I'm afraid you won't be choosing your own, but you can ride with whomever you want on the bus and I'll assign you your partners when we get there." Jess listened to the expected sighs and mutterings amongst disappointed 'BFFs' who had already exchanged knowing glances at the mention of partners. She couldn't help but notice the glint in one of her student's, Hannah's, eyes as she told the class though, and she couldn't quite tell if it was relief, excitement, or disappointment.

"Okay follow Miss Gardner to the bus please, and if you don't already have one, please take a water bottle on your way out." The kids filed our of the classroom, talking loudly to one another about seating arrangements. Hannah strayed behind a little, trying her best not to catch the attention of her friends. She had long, straight, ginger hair, pale skin, and a petite but shapely figure. The teenager's eyes were huge like her own (Jess'), and just as bright, but a deep green rather than blue . She was such a beautiful girl but slouched nervously with her arms wrapped around herself all the time, clearly unaware of that fact. Jess wished more than anything that the girls Hannah's age could see themselves the way she saw them and could be just a little more secure in themselves.

Jess had been a teacher long enough to realize the student wanted to talk to her in private and decided to help her avoid suspicion.

"Hannah, will you please help me? I need somebody to carry that box there - the one just under my desk." She shyly bent down and took the box, peeking at the door to see that her friends were gone.

"So what's up?" Jess asked, taking the other box and three folders under her arm.

"Huh?" Hannah looked at her with feigned confusion and Jess just stared her down until she offered an embarrassed smile as if to say that something was indeed 'up'.

"Well, um, I know this is dumb, and it's not like I'm some little kid, although this kinda makes me sound like one and you'll probably say no and-" she was speeding up and lowering her voice as she spoke, in an embarrassed panic.

"Hannah! It's okay, you can ask or tell me anything, what's up?" Jess urged gently.

"About you picking partners for us, do you think you could pair me up with Tyler?" She closed her eyes, clearly wishing she hadn't said anything at all. Jess gave her a knowing look, a little smile playing on her face, trying her best not to look condescending or like she thought of Hannah as a little kid. She actually thought it was really sweet, and brave of her to ask. Jess had had crushes in high school of course – and one boyfriend, but she never did experience young love.

"Tyler huh?"

"Yeah, I mean at the school dance, all the other guys were trying to be all cool at the side of the gym and Tyler just walked right up in the middle of my favorite song and asked if I wanted to dance. I mean the song was 'One Week' by the BareNakedLadies so it's not like it was that romantic, but I don't know, I think it's nice." She stared at the box in her hands as they walked, never looking up although she couldn't help the smile spreading across her lips as she thought of him. Jess resisted the urge to cry or bring her and Tyler into a big hug at hearing this and settled for a smile. It was so beautifully innocent. "I can't believe I'm telling my teacher this." She mumbled as she finished her thought.

"I think I can arrange for him to be your partner." Jess told her with a little wink. They both laughed a little as they approached the bus. Everybody had already taken their seats and were settled, anxious to leave.

"Well, sorry, I guess you're gonna have to sit next to the teacher on this trip" She pulled a sympathetic face, and noticed that Rose had squished herself awkwardly amongst a group of kids at the back of the bus. She gave her a questioning look before gesturing for Hannah to take the window seat. Jess was actually quite glad she was sitting next to her. Her students didn't often open up to her, and although they obviously couldn't continue their discussion with the possibility of Tyler or one of the other kids hearing from a few rows back, she wanted to keep talking to her.

Hannah wordlessly offered her teacher one of her ear-phones as she turned on her music. A little thrown, she accepted, expecting Bieber but pleasantly surprised to her The Smiths. Jess' phone whistled indicating a text, and since she had made it clear to her students that they could use theirs on the bus, she saw no reason not to check it.

Nicks name was written across the screen along with an icon indicating he had sent her a picture. She slid the screen to the right to see it and was met by a picture of her peach butter lotion.

_"Can this go on toast or is it like that vanilla stuff I accidentally used on ice-cream once? Did I tell you about that?"_ She couldn't help but let out a little laugh through her nose. She could feel Hannah looking at her, but she didn't mind much.

_"No, it's not for toast but you just made my day. lol"_ She typed quickly, wondering if the girl beside her was impressed by her extremely fast texting. _"And by the way, you didn't tell me about the vanilla stuff. Was it my face cream or make-up remover? :P"_ She added, her smile never wavering as she pressed send.

"I like your phone case" Hannah broke her Nick-induced trance.

"Oh thanks, I have like three rabbit cases. I'm not obsessed, it just happened." She laughed. Hannah smiled.

"You're talking to your boyfriend right?" Jess looked at her - not at all bothered by her nosiness, just surprised by her willingness to ask. She nodded in reply with a questioning smile.

"I can tell, you do that weird smile." Jess laughed at that.

"What weird smile?!"

"Well, not weird - just different. I only ever see you smile like that at your phone or at the guy waiting with coffee for you at lunch." Jess noted that Hannah was the fourth person to tell her she smiled differently at Nick, although she couldn't tell she was doing it, and wondered if he knew.

"Yeah, that's Nick." She flicked to her gallery to show her a picture, relieved when she narrowly missed clicking on the awkward topless picture he had sent her, with his arms flexed, and a lollipop in his mouth. She really didn't mind having this conversation with a student – she was an open book, she just didn't expect it. Teens are usually so awkward and shy with their teachers.

"So... do you live together?" Hannah asked, her face suddenly showing concern that she had crossed a boundary. Jess smiled to let her know that it was okay.

"Yes, no, not really... sort of." She replied, unable to stop her tongue. Hannah raised her eyebrows and let out a little laugh.

"Well we were already room-mates before we were... anything else, so yeah, we've actually been living together since like a year before we started dating." Jess explained, trying her best to avoid mentioning that she was sleeping with him even though she knew that the fifteen year old would have already assumed as much. "Actually we live right there!" She pointed at the top floor of the loft as the bus happened to drive down their street.

"So you were just like, room-mates with a guy?" Hannah asked, clearly a little weirded out by the idea.

"No, no, I was just room-mates with _four_ guys." She noted the expression on Hannah's face. The one that everybody gave her, wordlessly saying "Wow! What were you thinking?" They both laughed and for the next thirty minutes of trip they talked consistently, as Hannah's playlist jumped through just about every decade since 1850, playing Billy Joel, then One Direction, then Vera Lynn. Jess asked her for the name of about three songs and artists, taking note in her phone. She discovered that Hannah's parents _were_ still together, but her mother was always going on business trips to conferences, or meetings in far away states or countries and Jess already knew that her dad spent most of his time in Asia, following the money, which happened to be in the oil. Hannah mentioned that a nanny had been watching her on weekdays, and her older cousin who was "okay but never talks much" stayed on the weekends. She couldn't help but note that Hannah's Louis Vuitton school bag, Oakley Sunglasses, and what she almost refused to believe was the same stunning, casual, summer dress as Taylor Swift had worn on The Late Night Show the night before, was all accompanied by a broken look in her eyes as she talked about her parents, and she felt sorry for the lonely, seemingly unloved girl, despite how much she envied her designer shoes.

_Still Jess' POV, One Week before the break-up._

The sound of the cops theme-tune filled the loft as well as Winston's loud singing along to it. He was putting on that deep, admittedly great voice, and his facial expressions couldn't help but make them all laugh. Nick sat in the corner of the sectional, Jess to his left, with her legs entwined comfortably with his thighs, one over his left and under his right, and the other doing the opposite, woven like material, as she graded papers. Winston was beside her, perched on the edge of his seat as he got excited watching the cops, assuming that that would be what his life would be like as soon as he graduated from the police academy. Schmidt sat on the chair on the other side of Nick, watching Winston sing with a smile.

"Do you hear that? Someone's knocking on 4C, yet nobody has moved in yet." Winston stood suspiciously, clearly trying to sound authoritative and like a cop. He got out his Academy ID card, pushing the pin through his T-shirt , and tweaking it as though it were a police badge. Jess tried not to let out an audible laugh slip out as she watched him, but Schmidt and Winston didn't try so hard, snickering as he pressed himself up against the door, jumping back with a slight squeal when there was a light tap from the other side of it. He put down the gun he had formed with his fingers, and opened the door to find a pale looking girl staring straight past him, moving her neck to take in the surroundings of the living-room.

"Hi Miss Day." Jess looked up from her paper, wide-eyed at Hannah who stood in the door frame.

She was dressed in her usual; an expensive dress, slight heels, and an expensive bag, looking about ten years older despite her baby face, but her face looked as though she had slept with make-up on, and her hair seemed as though it had probably looked pretty good hours ago, but stray strands hung loosely around her now bangs-framed face. Jess couldn't help but think she may have inspired the haircut when she came into school showing it off two weeks earlier. She bit her lip nervously, her eyes deep with concern.

"Hi Hannah." Jess stated, her facial expression now matching Hannah's. She untangled herself from Nick, suddenly very aware of her newly tanned legs, mostly exposed by her tiny striped pajama pants. Despite the fact that she had just said it out loud, she turned to Nick momentarily and mouthed; "That's Hannah!". Jess had talked about her a lot since the day of the field trip. She and Tyler had sat together on the way home on the bus, and although Hannah hadn't told her so directly, Jess was pretty sure she'd heard them discussing going to see a movie the next week. They'd been on vacation for the last week and a half, and the three days before that were in-service days on which only the teachers had to go to school to arrange things for the next semester so she hadn't seen her in a while and worried about her quite a bit.

She stood up, pulling at the legs of her shorts to cover the insides of her thighs as she approached the door. She stood for a moment not knowing what to do or say, before she snapped up as though she'd been nudged. "Come in sweetie." She moved to let her past, and glanced at Winston who moved and muted the TV. The guys shared a glance, concerned but unsure whether to stay where they were or go off to their respective rooms. Jess said nothing else for a moment, certain only that bombarding the girl with questions would not help, but allowing her to feel safe definitely would. She took her coat, hanging it by the door, but Hannah held tightly to her bag. At that moment, the kettle dinged, alerting Jess that her water was ready. Two mugs and teabags sat out already, waiting for her and Winston. She gestured for Hannah to follow her to the kitchen where she filled the two mugs silently and handed one to the girl. She sniffed it, obviously not usually a tea drinker, but muttered a thanks and held it with two hands towards her face, looking more vulnerable than ever. Jess rushed around to the other side of the island when she saw her shoulders begin to shake, shaking the liquid in her hands with them. Jess gently took the cup from her hands and put it down, engulfing her in her arms as she turned her sobs into her shoulder. Keeping her body in place to be cried on, she turned her head to signal to the guys to stay where they were. As Hannah pulled back, embarrassed by her show of emotions in front of the now five strangers (Coach and Cece entered while she was crying, bemused and looking for answers with confused glances at the others who shrugged unknowingly, though Nick had thought to mouth "Hannah" just as Jess had done, assuming Cece had heard about her as well. She had, but that didn't really answer all of her questions.), Jess put her hands on the girl's shoulders and looked into her eyes, bright silver-green from her tears.  
>"Come on, let's go talk in my room." Despite having moved in with Nick a while before, she still almost directed her into Schmidt's room before remembering and shutting the door behind her, relatively sure that she had managed to kick Nick's underwear behind the door before Hannah noticed, not that she was all that worried about it in that moment.<p>

They both sat down on the bed, neither of them saying anything for a while. Jess knew that Hannah knew she was waiting for her to talk. There was no point in pushing her, or asking. The student played with the handles of her bag between her fingers, looking down, but feeling Jess' stare on her.

"I um... well my cousin stays in the left wing, and on the ground floor, and my room's in the right wing on the second floor, and there are stairs from my balcony so, it's not really hard to, you know, sneak out." Jess listened and nodded, trying to disguise her interest in just what kind of mansion she lived in, and where was this place? She was sure she didn't live far from the school. Hannah opened her mouth to continue to talk, to explain where she had been going, but she stopped as though she couldn't form the words, as her eyes began to fill again. Jess took her hand from the bag, cupping it in her own, student-teacher rules be damned.

"What happened babe?" She asked in what was almost a whisper, locking eyes with her. Hannah took in the biggest breath Jess thought imaginable and she assumed she let it out at some point because she didn't appear to struggle. She closed her eyes, and threw the bag in Jess' arms forcefully, but not in an aggressive manner. Jess glanced at her for permission to look inside and she nodded her head slightly. Jess opened the leather bag, revealing a bunch of school papers, her already graded Yates essay and other old pieces of work. Slightly confused, Jess looked at Hannah who reached over and removed the papers, revealing one small pregnancy test at the bottom of the bag in a ziplock. Already knowing it would, Jess turned it over to see the a little plus sign adorning the test.

She closed her eyes for a moment, suddenly understanding everything.

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading. I know this all seems a little random, and unrelated to Nick and Jess as a couple, but rest assured, I have a plan in motion.** **Any sort of reviews, good or bad are always welcome; criticism, praises, suggestions, spelling/Americanisms/grammar corrections, ideas, better ways to layout a sentence, anything that confused you, or whatever you have to say, I'd love to hear it!** **Also, I know this chapter is short, the first couple probably will be but they'll get longer, and also, I update more often this way anyway.**


	2. 2 - Bright Blue Eyes and a Turtlle Face

**A/N: Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, you really made my day! **

**So I'm not really sure what day of the week Nick and Jess broke up, but I'm assuming since they got plastered the night before, and there was a one year old's birthday party that day, I'm going to assume it was a Saturday. Also, I'm not really sure what time of year it was. I made it summer but if anyone knows if that's wrong (in comparison to Christmas episodes, or with regards to weather or whatever), please let me know, and I can fix that. **

**To those saying that it's a little too heartbreaking knowing that his is leading to the break-up. Don't worry, I very much doubt that that's where I'll end it!**

_Continuing on from the previous chapter._

"Oh sweetie." was all she managed. She spoke gently but tried her best not to sound too disappointed, remembering how much her mother's gentle-voiced disappointment hurt, the morning she found her van dented after she and Cece had gone to a party. She wrapped her arm around Hannah's shoulder. "When did you..?"

"Three weeks ago. Tyler and I went on a proper date the week after the school trip, then we just started meeting, like at the park or the gazebo in my yard or wherever, just to see each other and stuff, then one night it got... more intense. We didn't have a condom but I figured my period wasn't due for a while so I was probably good."

"You actually ovulate like two weeks before, not just before." Jess regretted saying that, not wanting to sound like a know-it-all, or make Hannah feel any more stupid.

"I know, I googled it a few days ago when I still didn't get my period. I stole this from my nanny's bathroom." She held up the test. "It was just in like a make-up tote not in a box but I think I did it right – I mean there isn't really a wrong way to pee on a stick right?" She laughed but with sad eyes.

That concerned Jess, it could be old, or used, or anything.

"It's probably right, but I think you should do another one or two just to be sure okay?" Jess lowered her head to keep eye contact with Hannah who nodded as a tear rolled down her face. She poked her head out from the door. "Cece, we need you."

She stood as though she'd been waiting to hear those words and gestured towards the door, as Jess opened it, suddenly worried that she should have to talked to her in another room, but her concerns were soon proved unnecessary as Cece noticed the pregnancy test being twiddled between Hannah's fingers and sat down gently beside her. She'd taken her fair share of them in the past.

"Positive huh?" She asked plainly, but somehow comfortingly. Hannah nodded, not bothering to look up at the stranger to her right. "I'm Cece."

"Hannah" she glanced at Cece and offered a small smile.

"I was wondering if you could go down to the store and pick up a couple more – just to be sure." Jess asked.

"Of course, how long, um... is it just an early one or?"

"No, it's been a couple of weeks, it should be fine." She patted Hannah's knee before standing up and grabbing Jess' handbag since she didn't have much money in her own at that moment, and retrieving her purse, checking for a few tens before she shoved it inside her own bag. "Thank you Cece" Jess offered as Cece left.

As she walked towards the door, Schmidt wordlessly grabbed his keys and coat to drive her, not yet knowing where she was going. Nick wondered if he had just failed to pick up on a signal, or if Schmidt just naturally gravitated towards Cece.

_Three days before the break-up - Wednesday_

"Where are they? Where are they?" Nick muttered to himself as he dropped to a push-up position to search under his bed. He and Jess had a big date on Saturday; he was going to invite her to go to Chicago with him for Jamie's wedding. He was pretty positive she would agree – she had already met Bonnie as a friend anyway, but still he wanted to recognize it as a step for them, and had made reservations at the restaurant where they had had their first date (or did they decide in the end that it wasn't a date he wondered), and he wanted to wear the expensive cuff-links she had bought him for his birthday after only having known him for a month, but he couldn't find them anywhere.

He stood up, sweeping pages around his desk, (mostly crumpled up ideas for his zombie novel, and sketches he drew to procrastinate), searching for the little black box. He managed to knock over a jar full of stationary, which landed directly in the trash. He still couldn't see the box, but crouched down to fish his underused pencils out of the trash, when something caught his eye near the bottom of the bag; a pregnancy test. Plus means positive right? Oh god, Jess was pregnant!

He pulled his hands up to his face, rubbing his eyes hard and trying to make sense of things. A tiny part of him saw a beautiful baby girl with Jess' stunning, giant eyes and expressions like his, or a boy with her smile, and his curls, but that part was overtaken by fear, confusion, and concern.

Of course he couldn't imagine having a family with anyone else, and he had seen it in his dreams so many times, and sometimes in his daydreams, but that was the future, when they were married and somehow mature and adult-like. Actually it wasn't just in his dreams he imagined marrying her, he even knew her ring size and that she had an allergy to certain types of metals including silver, but loved the color, so her ring would be white gold, he had thought about it that much. But the thought of her bumbling down the isle, ready to pop, a few months from now was never in his fantasies.

Obviously they would stay together and raise the baby together, there was no question about it... for him. Oh, what if Jess didn't want him around anymore? The thought was enough for him to forget to breathe, but he inhaled deeply when he heard her voice and the apartment door close behind her. He pushed the test into his pocket with such force that it stabbed him in the leg. He jumped to the other side of the room, feigning nonchalance badly as she walked into the room.

"Hey babe." She automatically put her arms around him and dropped a kiss on his lips, as was second nature to her the moment she got home from anywhere.

"Right, yeah, hi, hello, heeeey baby-doll." He bit down hard on his tongue to stop himself. She gave him a questioning look but only for a moment as other things took over her mind.

"So I got a text from Hannah this morning – I'm not sure if I'm supposed to text her according to school policies or whatever, but I did anyway because Nick, I swear the girl has nobody else to talk to about this. Her mom is..." Realization struck Nick as hard as relief did as he remembered Hannah and how she had told Jess about her pregnancy in their room. He resisted the urge to whistle and wipe his brow like a cartoon character, but did let out a breathy, relieved laugh. Jess stopped talking and looked at him.

"What?" she stared curiously at him.

"Nothing." He insisted, deciding not to tell her. She took him by the elbow and spun him around, pressing her palm against his back.

"Nick, your back feels like you're still in the shower, what's up?" She asked flatly, knowing for absolute certain that he wasn't telling her something, and that she would get it out of him.

"I uh... I thought you were pregnant." he forced a slight smile in an attempt to make it some funny little story they could both laugh at.

"What?! Why?!" She asked shocked, but in a light-hearted, laughing sort of way. Nick reached into his pocket, pulling out Hannah's test.

"I found this in the trash and I kinda forgot about Hannah."

"Oh god, you didn't do anything crazy did you? She asked it jokingly but then something occurred to her; Nick had honestly believed he was going to have a baby with her, and yet there he stood. There wasn't a Nick shaped hole in the wall, she didn't come home to find him rocking in the corner with wide eyes and his knees tucked up to his chin, and he didn't even seem to have had a drink. He was just there, still staring at her the way he had since the moment he swept her off her feet in the elevator; like she was everything he had ever needed.

Of course Jess had pictured herself married to every guy she had ever dated, she was in her thirties and wanted children and ninety percent of her eggs were gone, so yes, she pictured children too, but this was different, even from when she was with Spencer. It was real. When she imagined walking down the isle before, she had imagined her beautiful white dress with the a-symmetrical sleeves, and the hundred people gasping in wonder at her as she walked, she imagined the party afterwards, her bridesmaids in red, and her square, three-tier cake; she'd had it all planned since she was three feet tall. But when she thought about marrying Nick, all of that went out the window. She still wanted it, but none of it mattered. She stopped picturing a wedding and pictured a marriage. She saw herself waking up beside him every morning, she saw lazy Sundays, and busy weeks, all by his side. She imagined her old wrinkled hand entwined with his, their rings a natural part of the baggy skin on their fingers. She was no longer afraid of commitment of any level with Nick.

She was all in. Her lips made there way up to her ears, revealing her teeth.

"What?" Nick asked.

"I love you." she laughed. Even after having heard those three words from her every morning, and every night before he fell asleep, and countless times between, they still made his heart flutter. He was glad she wasn't weird about the test. She seemed to pass by it without any thought.

"I love you more." he replied. Sometimes he wondered if she really did love him as much as he loved her. He didn't doubt her love for him at all; he could see it her her eyes and in her smile and in everything he did, but he just didn't think it possible that anyone could feel as strong as he did about her.

"Not possible." she mumbled as she took his hands, putting the pregnancy test down on the desk and pressing her forehead against his.

She leaned in and pressed her lips, open, softly against his, but found teeth instead as he smiled behind her lips. He planted three short kisses from the top of her nose, to the tip, to her lips. As soon as he pulled away from the third, she cupped his face in her hands, pulling him back in, this time more passionately. He moaned a little as he moved his hands through her hair and down her back onto the back of her thighs. She gasped for air slightly as her feet left the ground, meeting behind his knees, as hers clenched onto him, pulling herself up higher as he lowered his head down her neck. She was happy.

He turned to Jess, who had a sheet pulled across her chest now, no doubt to keep his eye contact, and saw that her smirk matched his. He gave her a long, soft kiss. When he was staring at her, he missed her lips, and when he was kissing her, he missed looking into her eyes. After what felt like hours, but were possibly minutes (it was so easy to get lost in Jess, he honestly didn't know), he realized she was craning her neck to see the clock behind him. He moved so she could see, checking himself. It was six thirty in the evening. Since she worked in the morning, and his shifts were more often at night, the hours between around five and seven were usually when they got each other's full attention.

"I gotta go to work." he groaned.

"No! Come on, how much do you usually make, with tips on a week day? I'll pay you, and then you can just stay here." Nick laughed.

"Jess, last month you paid a quarter of your rent with cupcakes. Delicious as they were, I don't think the guys would be too happy with that arrangement." He sat up, staying in bed as he got dressed. With a kiss on the nose, he went to stand up but she didn't let go of his hand.

"Wait! One more kiss – on the lips!" She begged. He leaned down, kissing her hairline, then her nose, then her neck, he let go of her hand and hovered over her lips before pulling away to tease her.

"Hey! She yelled after him. "Careful Miller, I will get my way yet!" He turned back in the doorway, just to take in her beauty and smile before he left.

It was about eleven o'clock when he got home. He sneaked into the loft quietly, tiptoeing and instantly taking off his shoes after he closed the door. He almost jumped out of his skin when he noticed the sleeping figure on the couch.

He wandered over, sitting down beside her, but keeping most of his weight on his feet to avoid making a dip that could wake her. She had a book sitting open directly on top of her face. He remembered to dog-ear the page before closing the book and setting it on the table and returning to stroke her cheek as he admired her quiet breathing. He stood up and back for a moment, checking out his best options of movement before slipping one hand under her knees and the other behind her shoulders, careful not to let her head drop as he lifted her.

He lay her down on their bed, slipping off her shoes. He unzipped her skirt and slid it off, but decided she looked comfortable enough in her leggings and his unwashed sweater, so he pulled the covers up over her, noting that it was a little cold, before changing and slipping in next to her. He turned to face her back, cupping his hand over hers on her pillow beside her. He closed his eyes, not at all tired but perfectly fine with turning off his brain and smelling her hair until the world began to spin and he drifted off.

It was seven in the morning when Nick was woken by Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl" He quickly leaned over Jess to answer her phone before it woke her. He knew she didn't mind him answering her phone, and would appreciate another hour or two of sleep.

"Hello?"

He hadn't been able to see the name but he recognized the rough, but feminine voice.

"Melissa? Hi." He replied quietly as he crept out of the room and into the bathroom.

"Oh hey Nick, Jess still sleeping?"

"Yeah, I can wake her if you want?"

"Uh... I mean I feel bad getting her up but Sadie is at work, and I have this meeting, and Jacob was supposed to go be playing with Ayden today but his brother has the chicken pox, and I know kids are supposed to get them, but not at eleven months old they're not, and of course now it's going around and we're supposed to be having seven of those little rug-rats over tomorrow and I can't-"

"Melissa, calm down. You need Jess to babysit?"

"And preferably at your place if it's possible. I'll drop him off if I really need to, but I've gotta go, like five minutes ago and in the opposite direction, do you think she can be here in like, um, ten minutes?"

"Uh.." Jess was a morning person but she got insane when her mornings were rushed. She had her routine and she couldn't think clearly until she'd had a shower. "I tell you what, I'll take Jess' car and be there in five if you get the car-seat ready."

"Awesome. You're a life saver Nick!" She hung up the phone. He went to get his shoes and left a long kiss on Jess' cheek before he exited.

It wasn't until Melissa threw the curly-haired little boy in his arms and left in a hurry with a kiss on the cheek to each of the boys, that Nick realized he actually hadn't held a baby since he was a teenager. He just didn't know a lot of babies. At first he felt comfortable with him under his arm but as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he was terrified he would drop him or that he would start to cry.

He sat him down in the seat, and tried to strap him in. Wait? Where did this go? It had a buckle but where was the other side? Oh he was sitting on it? After a moment of fidgeting he got the kid strapped in and got back in the car. He turned on the radio to hear an old Puff Daddy song. Nick didn't like most rap, but occasionally he'd find a really good one he liked. Turning to the still, quiet boy in the backseat, he decided that wasn't the best choice of music and changed the channel. Swearing, next; angry heavy metal, next; Taylor Swift? Jess liked her right? Why not?

As he focused on the music, a car pulled out in front of him without indicating and he hit the brakes. It wasn't a very close call, and usually Nick would have yelled through the glass and continued, not thinking much of it. But now, well if he'd crashed now, it wouldn't only be his life put in jeopardy, or the lives of his adult friends, it would be the life of a little blue-eyed boy who hadn't yet lived it. He drove as carefully as he could all the way home, glancing to the mirror often, to see the content little boy in the back. With Sadie's stunning blue eyes, and what he assumed was the Donner's jawline and hair, he could have easily been Nick and Jess' child. The very thought gave him butterflies in his stomach as he unclipped the car-seat and he couldn't tell if it was the good kind or the terrified kind.

Confusion must have struck the boy as he got out, although he had been to the loft several times before, as he started to cry and fuss. Nick's eyes widened, unsure how to deal with the loudening kid. Jacob's face went from adorable to awful as he turned his mouth up and squeezed his eyes closed. Nick wasn't sure whether one year olds could still be calmed by being rocked around the way newborns could be, but the boy felt so small, it seemed likely. He bounced him on his hip outside the building, and before he knew what he was doing, he found himself muttering the few words of Taylor Swift's song 'Red' that had been on in the car, that he remembered. The little boy's lip stuck out far and his eyes stayed wet but he became quiet. Nick took him inside and up the elevator, before realizing he had left all his stuff in the car.

They rode back down and walked around the block back to the car, where he set Jacob down and took the bag of toys and animal crackers. He took a few steps to go before realization struck and he spun around, as if expecting the child would be beside him somewhere.

"Oh the car!" He muttered aloud. He turned to open the driver's seat door, where Jacob perched, looking tiny in front of the staring wheel.

He jiggled the handle. Locked. When she had bought the car he thought that it was awesome that it would self-lock since Jess was naïve and likely to either forget to lock the door, or perhaps not even bother. "No, no no no no" Nick repeated as he searched his pockets. His eyes became saucers as he peered in through the windows, hoping not to confirm his fears; that he'd locked the keys – and somebody else's baby in her car. "No!" Nick bent down to look closer through the passenger window, and heard the jingling of metal as his keys fell out of his breast pocket. With a sigh of relief, Nick unlocked the door, remembering immediately to return them to his pocket, before lifting Jacob back out of the car, with the rather heavy bag in the other.

The driver's side was facing the road, and a car flew by as he rummaged around trying to close the door. With the cool gust of air, once again, a great feeling of mortality hit him and despite the fact that the car was already long gone, he was somehow still worried that it could harm the baby. He waddled back to the building, and struggled to lift his finger to the elevator button. He had seen women doing this all the time, a baby on one hip, who knows what sort of baby equipment by the other, and sometimes even a toddler in heir hand, and an adolescent running in front of them. He'd never really thought much of it but now he wondered how on earth they managed.

When he finally reached 4D, he had no idea how to unlock the door. He considered putting down the baby but decided against it, and dropped the bag, hoping there was nothing fragile in it. Although he had only left twenty minutes ago, he was surprised to find the loft quiet.\

He plopped Jacob down on the couch, turning on the TV so he could take a shower. He flicked through the channels until he came to a white cartoon dog talking to a British baby. That looked like a kids' show. It then occurred to him that if something happened while he was in the shower, the baby couldn't really do anything about it. How the hell did parents accomplish normal tasks like showering? He glanced at the TV when he heard lips smacking together, and saw a fat man strangling a red-headed cartoon woman. He dove for the remote. Not that Jacob understood the difference, but that definitely wasn't a kids' cartoon. He found a show called "Adventure Time" with some sort of long-legged dog and what appeared to be a little boy with animal ears living in a land of candy. He stayed and watched for a moment, just to make sure that this wasn't another cartoon like Family Guy.

Scared to leave the room, even for a moment, he kept his eyes on the kid for as long as he could as he trailed off into the hallway. He rubbed his face hard with his hands. He had always wanted kids but the last twenty minutes were far more stressful than any others he had lived. How could he be a dad?

"Jess, sweetie, wake up." He leaned over his bed and kissed her on the lips. She did nothing. The second time however, though her eyes remained closed, she kissed him back. She grabbed his t-shirt to pull him down beside her, but he pushed himself up from the bed as he heard a ukulele-based theme-tune ring out from the living room. "We have to babysit today." He told her as she sat up, her usual morning self by now.

"Jacob? Is Melissa coming or does she need me to go get him?" She began searching the floor with her eyes for her robe.

"No, no. I picked him up. He's sitting in the living-room." Jess followed him into the living-room and smiled, looking at Nick with a surprised grin, like she expected the boy would be in flames by this point.

He watched in awe as she casually scooped him up from the couch. She managed to then pick up the mail on her way to the kitchen, and pour some very diluted juice into a sippy cup for him. Now with the cup in the crook of her elbow, the mail still under her arm, and Jacob comfortably on her hip, she poured herself a glass of water, nothing in her arms even trembling. He was amazed to see her take a sip, before laying out the mail, opening an envelope and passing Jacob the cup. She looked up to see him staring at her, astounded.

"What?" she questioned, oblivious to the fact that completing those tasks would have taken Nick ten minutes, and a good deal of stress and mishaps. He just offered a weak smile. Here Jess was, practically a mother without a child, and an amazing one at that, and he could never be the father she deserved to their children. At the thought of bad father figures, Nick's mind began to wander.

_It was Jamie's ninth birthday. The two boys had gotten up early and run downstairs where of course they smelled bacon and eggs cooking. Nick sensed his mother's tone as he heard her in the kitchen, and stopped his little brother from going any further. _

"_James, you should go to the bathroom before your birthday breakfast."_

"_But I don't need to go!"_

"_Yes, but you don't want to have to get up in the middle of present time because you need to pee – you should go." Jamie was convinced and sauntered off to the bathroom._

"_I'll be right back." he told his big brother. _

_Nick was careful not to make a sound as he approached the kitchen. His mother stood by the wall phone, and even from the back, he could tell by the way that she was standing that a frown covered her face. _

"_No Walt, it's his birthday for Pete's sake and-... yes I know he'll have another one next year, but who knows if you'll make it to that one eith-... okay fine, but what about his present huh? He's just a kid Walt, and now he doesn't get his birthday present because you lost it in some deal. __It's a remote control car for goodness sake, who would even want to-...okay, just-" She held the phone out as it beeped, telling her that it wanted to return to the receiver – she wasn't going to get anything else out of him. _

"Nick?" Jess gave him a questioning glance as he realized he was still standing in the hallway, his eyes had been staring straight through them. Jacob sat on the counter as Jess fed him some sort of colorful cereal. He offered as much of a smile as he could but inside it killed him. He was just like his father, and how could ever be what a child needed?

**A/N: Hey, thanks for reading. Please understand that this is Nick's opinion of himself, not my opinion of him. Thank you so much to singingsensation1999 for beta-reading, and also AnUninspiredWriter! I know this took a while to put up, but I realize now that due to time differences, this involves quite a lot of waiting for various things. Reviews are appreciated! **


	3. Oi With The Pig Wings Already!

**A/N: Thank you so much for keeping up with this story. I love to read your reviews! For those of you who don't know, Zooey Deschanel is pregnant guys! Woot woot! Thank you so much Newgirl78 and An Uninspired Writer for your help! Btw, I noticed Jess and Nick never really used nick-names (no pun intended), but 'babe' just feels wrong when I write it so feel free to suggest some. Also, sorry if the spacing between paragraphs and dialogue is weird, it kept changing.**

"Jess. Come on! Jess! Jess-i-ca. Jess!" She sat in front of Jacob with an overly wide smile repeating it.

"Nick!" The baby yelled with a laugh. Jess' face fell serious.

"No, no, not Nick; Jess. Come on, Jess. Don't say Nick when Nick's isn't here. Say Jess." Nick appeared in the living room with wet hair.

"Did he say my name again? Did you tell him not to say my name?" Jess refused eye contact. "You did! You're trying to teach him to say Jess when I'm not in the room. Not gonna happen, Jake and I are bros." He laughed and knelt down, offering Jacob a fist-bump, and even though he'd done it about thirty times that morning, Jess couldn't resist a smile when he promptly held out his tiny fist to respond.

"I want eggs. Want some babe?" Jess wandered to the kitchen and pulled out a pan.

"Sure, scramble them if you want." Nick liked his eggs poached, and Jess liked them scrambled, but she was the one cooking breakfast so he always felt bad when she did them his way, which she did most days since she was usually awake before he could protest.

Jess watched from a distance in the kitchen, as Nick counted each of Jacob's tiny fingers; "One, two, three! Tickle tickle tickle! One, two... three!" He tickled him in the stomach again and he squealed in delight. She considered warning him that the baby had just had breakfast, and tickling him was one way to get it to come back up, but as she watched him interacting with him with such ease, she decided not to interfere.

Watching him with Jacob, she realized how clearly she could see it; Nick and herself in the not-so-distant future with their own little child. They wouldn't still live with three roommates though, despite the fact that the only reason they could pay the rent was with the help of those three roommates. LA was expensive; there would be no way they could afford a nice house in this area. Also, private school prices were so high, and as one of the only competent staff members at Coolidge, she knew that the public schools were a joke. She remembered all her amazing teachers in Portland, even before she transferred to a private school, and she thought how wonderful her school had been. Not only that, but the houses were so cheap, and they'd come with a bit of land so the kids could store their bikes in a big garage, and run around. Maybe they could even get a horse. She also always thought it would be nice if their kids could know their grandparents. Portland definitely sounded like a good idea; or even Chicago, although Jess didn't think Nick would feel the same need to go home as she did.

It wasn't as if she was getting antsy for a ring, or felt the need to drop hints. They were happy where they were for the time being, but it would definitely be nice to talk about it. Jess' phone whistled and she saw a text come through from Sadie.

_Thank you so much for taking care of Jacob. We're not even close to ready for the party tomorrow and you definitely took some of the stress away. I can probably pick him up in like 3 hours? And whisk him off to Walmart, and Partyland. Oh the joys of parenthood. Lol._

"Hey Nick, do you have any plans today? You don't have work, do you?"

"Uh... I gotta go order some things down at Clyde's this afternoon, but I only have to drop in for like an hour. Why, are we keeping this one?" He gestured at Jacob, and Jess quickly replied to Sadie.

_Don't worry about it. Do what you need to, and I'll drop him off this evening. I was just gonna make spaghetti for dinner anyway. Spaghetti will work for him right?_

Sadie replied almost as instantly.

_He loves spaghetti, but no mushrooms! _

Jess glanced at the list of Jacob's allergies on the fridge.

_Right. No mushrooms, no peanuts, not dog fur!_ Jess hoped Winston's cat wasn't a problem, but Sadie's mom had a cat and it didn't seem to be an issue.

Her phone beeped again, and Sadie added;

_I hope I didn't ruin your plans for peanut-butter, Labrador spaghetti tonight._

Jess laughed and turned to Nick. "Jacob's gonna stay for dinner. I'll take him back after that."

The rest of the morning was rather uneventful, although the apartment looked as though it had been struck by a tornado. Nick went into the bar early, and was back within forty minutes, just in time to enjoy lunch with Jess and Jacob. Jess had hoped to use that time to teach Jacob to finally say her name, but he had spent most of it sound asleep. He was still out and snoring on their bed when Nick got home.

The familiar tune of "Uptown Girl" started to play from behind her bedroom door, and Jess bolted as fast as she could to answer it before it woke Jacob.

"Hello?"

_"Hey Miss Day."_

"Oh hi Hannah. What's up sweetie?"

"_Well I don't really know. It's probably just normal, but well it really hurts so I thought I should-"_

"What really hurts? What's wrong?" Jess was already putting on a sweater and looking for her keys.

_"Well I felt really sick and threw up, which I guess is morning sickness, but I had to keep getting up to use the bathroom, and my back really hurts. There was blood in the toilet but I think it came out when I peed."_

Jess closed her eyes, desperately hoping that it wasn't a complication with the baby, and that Hannah was right about it being her urinary tract.

"Text me your address, I'll be right there and then-" Jess decided not to mention the hospital in case she freaked out. "I'll be right over."

Nick saw the panic in Jess' eyes as she left the room, still remembering to carefully close the door.

"Hannah's having some problems – Nick I gotta go. Do you have everything? Are you good? Can you-"

"Yeah, go Jess! I've got it!"

"No mushrooms, no peanuts, no dogs, and no violent video games. Love you bye." She muttered quickly enough for it to have been considered one word. Luckily Nick had grown accustomed to Jess' fast moving mouth.

He tiptoed into his room to check on the baby and carefully closed the door behind him on his way back out.

SLAM!

"Whaaaa!" Defeated, Nick threw his head back against the door.

"Schmidt!" He whined before going back into his room to find the wailing baby. He knew he needed to pick him up, and tried to rock him the way he had done earlier that morning to no avail. Jacob continued to scream. Nick came out into the living room with the noisy child in his arms.

"Dammit Schmidt, you woke the baby." Nick growled as he bounced him on his hip. Schmidt stood with his feet planted by the door, squinting at Nick then at Jacob and back again.

"What is this? 2016? How long was I gone?"

"What? No, this is Sadie's baby. Schmidt you've seen this kid at least five times." Schmidt nodded his head ignorantly as he stomped towards the couch, flopping down dramatically. "Wait, what do you mean 2016?"

Realizing that Nick wasn't going to ask him why he was so upset, Schmidt decided to voice his opinions anyway. "Damn Chili Brew account!" He slammed his fist on the couch, making the case of beer he had dumped beside him, bounce.

"Schmidt, what did you mean with me and the baby and 2016?"

"Oh for goodness sake Nick, your girlfriend is already your mother. Don't you think she might like a baby of an appropriate age and size? Gina wants to take the Chili Brew account away from me. I've been working on this for like two months Nick. Do you have any idea how much weird spicy beer I have drank trying to come up with something good?"

"But why 2016? That's only like a year and a half away."

"Wake up and smell that weird thing Coach cooks Nick – she's a thirty-one year old middle school teacher! I'm allergic to chili Nick. Still, it's all I've done for two months. The girls at work say I'm PMSing with all the crying I've been doing."

Jacob had stopped screaming but with his face scrunched, and snot dripping down his face, he continued to sniffle. Nick wiped the thick yellowy substance from his shirt and flicked away the tissue. Gross. 2016? Was Jess expecting to settle down so soon? Surely that was just Schmidt talking? It wasn't all Jess was thinking about was it? Of course not. Schmidt was just being Schmidt. Nick found Jacob's pacifier in the bag and the baby finally calmed down. Nick took another tissue and rubbed the baby's nose.

"I have until Monday to come up with something." Schmidt sighed. "Although she already turned down my last three ideas for the project, and I have nothing left to offer in my idea journal."

Nick was about to reply when his phone dinged.

_Kidney stones! Almost as painful as giving birth unfortunately for Hannah, but as far as the doctor can see, baby is fine, and her pregnancy should continue as usual. She has to go pass them now. If I'm allowed I'll go in with her. I still can't get a hold of her parents but her snarky cousin said he'll stop by. I literally told him Hannah was in the hospital and he said he would "stop by". What even?_

Balancing Jacob on his hip, Nick replied;

_Glad she's okay (ish). But the bit about the baby is good. Does she need to stay overnight?_

_Nah, Hannah seemed really against the idea because her parents will be back tomorrow and she still needs to tell them, so the doctor told her if she feels well enough a couple of hours after she's passed them, she can go home. She needs the signature of a parent or guardian. If that cousin of hers doesn't, can I? Should I? Her family is so rich, I can't afford to be sued or anything. Will you be my lawyer? _

Nick almost laughed as he imagined Jess rambling on. He typed as quickly as he could.

_You're getting ahead of yourself. Just make sure her cousin signs her out._

_Right. I need you to make dinner, but I'll probably be back before Jacob leaves. Gtg, she's going in. _

Nick shook his head, wondering how on Earth Jess could text so fast. Of course, she wasn't trying to balance a 20 pound toddler on her hip either.

_Okay, good luck with everything. Love you._

"Nick?!" Schmidt's face lit up. "Do you remember how I came up with that brilliant marketing scheme for Double V with the pig and the angels and the-" Nick Joined in with Schmidt as he said it; "Little piggy drank Double VVV all the way home!" Schmidt nodded excitedly.

"Hell of an idea Schmidt."

"But do you remember how I came up with it?"

"By drinking yourself stupid with your ex-lover/boss before destroying your chances with the woman you loved, ultimately resulting in you getting back together with Elizabeth, Cece getting engaged to Shivrang, me and Jess falling through an air duct while letting a badger loose, Cece backing out of her marriage, me ending up in a Mexican jail, and you losing both Elizabeth and Cece on the same day? Yeah I remember."

Schmidt glared at Nick. "No, after that."

"We played True American?"

"We played True American!" Schmidt yelled back excitedly. "I fell into the lava, the wings of the Wright Brothers lifted me to the crazy zone, and so began Double V's brilliant campaign! We have to play it again. Tonight!"

"Schmidt I am literally going to change a diaper right now and you expect me to play the most complicated, alcoholic, fun, drinking- yeah, okay I'm in. Jess should be home and Jake should be back with his parents by eight at the latest. Text Cece and get her to decide the teams. Game starts at nine!"


End file.
